#OfficeMemes

Just a series of atrocious utterances mouthed by people whom we address by the term ‘colleagues‘. Shakespeare must be loathing in his grave! Mr. S & Mr. H are imaginary characters FYI 😉

  1. Mr. S: “We are not here to HINDRANCE anybody’s activities!”. (means he or his team are not working to disrupt anyone’s operations, LOL..noun for verb and verb for noun!).
  2. Mr. S: “That is what I want/need it”. (means..umm..I don’t know f*cked up grammar maybe?)
  3. Mr. S: “We both of them.. And they both of us..”(means there are two people involved in the context but Mr. S can use the words we, them, they, us whichever way he likes. Dayummm!)
  4. Mr. S: “The water was DAAAAANCING in front of me!”(Okay this needs some serious explanation. There was a feeble earthquake in the area, due to which the water bottle kept on Mr. S’ table slightly swung sideways. Hence the statement!)
  5. Mr. H: “I SPOONFEEDED him the whole thing!” (Mr. H can change any verb from present tense to past tense just by adding the letters E, D. What a bloody brilliant way of speaking improper English!)
  6. Mr. S: “I think the cell is FREEZED!”(Another classic example of the above!)
  7. Mr. S: “That is why this is all being DIGGED up!”(Gosh, that’s the limit!)
  8. Mr. S: “He was CAUGHTED in the wrong foot!”(My my, that’s plain offensive. Past tense of past tense of a verb followed by the wrong preposition. Genius!)
  9. Mr. S: ” Are you BEEN NOTIFIED about this?” (Dammnit, I’ve run out of reasons for wanting to explain this verbal tomfoolery!)
  10. Mr. S: “He is ORKING on it.” (simply means he is WORKING on it. Don’t ask me twice b*tch!)
  11. Mr. S: “He is giving YAAAAAAAIRLINE code number, flight number, seat number YUVVRYTHHINGGU.” (Has got more to do with pronunciation than grammar, in this case!)
  12. Mr. S: “I SMELTEDDDD it!” (This one’s an instant classic. Means Mr. S felt something unruly about a work-related matter and reported to higher authorities about the same. F****ck me!)
  13. Mr. S: “We are not sitting here to play DAANNKEY (donkey) GAME”. (That sh*t’s self-explanatory!)
  14. Mr. S: “He is speaking on AIR BASE!!!” (means there is no substantial backup to his statement. Wowzies!)
  15. Mr. H: “He did not CAME back to me.” (Holy guacamole! Grammar taken for a ride!)
  16. Mr. S: “Did you WENT for the party yesterday?” (GrammarRape #2)
  17. Mr. H: “He has not CATCHED UP with me.”(Duuuude! Heights, this is!)
  18.  Mr. H: “Sir, Can I CAME to you NOW?” (No Mr. H, you’d rather meet me in the future past!)
  19. Mr. S: “I have FLIED in YEMIRATES, YAAIR INDIA, YINDIGO & YAAIR ARABIA.”(Saved the best for last! :P)

                                                   ..[to be continued]..

P.S: Readers’ entries are welcome! 😀

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